Smile - Non Political

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:57 pm

Kids can sure make you feel old.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 1:31 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:19 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu May 07, 2009 8:33 am

Warning

ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH ON FRIDAY
THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.
DON'T WORRY, YOU ARE ALL SAFE ,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ALL OF YOU .

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Wed May 20, 2009 5:09 pm

KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU ARE DOING YOUR CLEANUP CHORES.

New use for Windex

I haven't checked 'snopes.com' to see if this actually works or not . . .

But they say,

If you ever get the sudden Urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat May 23, 2009 8:08 am

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon May 25, 2009 9:39 am

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu May 28, 2009 10:48 am

FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Fri May 29, 2009 9:57 pm

Intimacy

maine-iac · Post by **maine-iac** » Fri May 29, 2009 10:08 pm

That's just wierd.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat May 30, 2009 7:32 pm

Let me OUT

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sun May 31, 2009 12:18 pm

Instructions for properly hugging a baby

1. First, uh, find a baby

2. Second, be sure that the object you found was Indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.

3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the Hugging process.

4. The 'paw slide' Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute.
The difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to Achieve the best photo quality.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:55 am

Smile - Sorry, I will not do it again....

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Jun 02, 2009 5:01 pm

To stop or not, that is the question.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 7:39 pm

Deaf ?

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:20 am

OUCH

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:04 am

How to tell if your feet stink.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:17 am

I think I'm in trouble

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:22 pm

Words of Wisdom

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your butt is disconnected..

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:18 pm

Little Child's Prayer . . .

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:27 pm

When your boyfriend, husband or significant other

does something that makes you angry don't give in to the

temptation to argue and fight.

Just count to ten, remain calm and after he goes to bed,

super-glue his flip flops

to the floor.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:34 pm

Juggling

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:26 pm

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of . in
his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should
take one Dad;
they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
try one, and before we leave in the morning,
I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found
$110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said,
"I told you each pill was $10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa.
"The hundred is from Grandma!"

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:21 pm

MEDICINE-MIXING ALERT

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:45 pm

A Married Man's Motorcycle

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:09 pm

If you hear a "loud rumble" tonight in the sky, don't worry, it's not thunder.

It's Elvis beatin' the crapp out of Michael Jackson for marrying his daughter.

Have a nice day every one.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:32 am

I know there has been some confusion as to the symptoms of Swine Flu.
Well, this should clear up any confusion....

If you wake up looking like this,
don't go to work.

lcompton · Post by **lcompton** » Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:54 pm

Good evening.

bob3160 wrote:

Oh dear. That is so wrong. I'm going to have nightmares...

tazxx · Post by **tazxx** » Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:20 pm

I think the little oinker is (for a lack of of other words) cute. Nice to show to those misbehaven kids though!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:54 pm

Hope this doesn't scare any one....

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then .........
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to.......................

my iPod!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:53 pm

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
Husband standing around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?"
She asked.

"Hunting Flies"
He responded...

"Oh! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."

lcompton · Post by **lcompton** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:17 pm

Good evening.

bob3160 wrote:He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."

Okay, that was cute and it actually made me laugh.

lcompton · Post by **lcompton** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:19 pm

Good evening.

bob3160 wrote:Hope this doesn't scare any one.... <snip>

Not scary, just gross.

Yes, yes, I know. Male humor. *rolls eyes*

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:23 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:20 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:58 pm

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:39 am

The Woodpecker Might have to go!

More religious humor available at:
http://mysharedfiles.no-ip.org/Faith/Re ... Humor.html

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 8:18 am

It Will Never Hatch

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 7:32 am

I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I
would look in on you and see if you're sitting
at your computer and if you're OK.
Yup, there you are and you look great!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:19 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:34 pm

We are all getting older

BARBIE IS in her 50's!!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:10 am

TWEETIE is now in his 60's

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:17 pm

EVEN THE SUPER HEROES ARE AGING FAST!!

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 7:27 pm

bob3160 · Post by **bob3160** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:36 pm

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
http://mysharedfiles.no-ip.org/NotLooking.html

magicJack and magicJack Plus Support, Reviews, FAQs and Tricks

Smile - Non Political

Smile - Non Political

Okay...

Gross...